ZOMG

by Nat Budin, in the style of Zeke Hoskin

Verse
/ C  G  / C  C7 / F     / C     /
/ F  F7 / C  Am / D     / G     /

Chorus
/ F     / C     / F     / G     /
/ F     / C  Am / C  F  / G  C  /

Bridge
/ Am    / E     / F     / G     / (x2)

When I met you, I felt like such a n00b
I didn’t understand the way you talk
You told me to DM you and I said “what do you mean?”
You said “LMGTFY, MuckRock!”

You linked me to a page on a web site
With a document I read all the way through
Eighty-three whole pages filled with tiny acronyms
And now this is what I have to say to you:

Chorus:
OMG, (oh my god) YMMS (you make me smile)
XTC, XO XO
ZOMG, (zoh my god), IRLY (I really like you)
GTG; TTYL! YATB, IMHO.

It’s harder to express yourself on Twitter
You have to keep your messages so short
So we abbreviate them, but in order to translate them,
You’re gonna need this FBI report

It was helpfully obtained by a reporter
With a Freedom of Information Act request
Now instead of “hi, good morning!” I can tell you HGM
And this is how I tell you you’re the best:

Chorus:
HAY, (how are you?) ITILU (I think I love you)
XTC, XO XO
OMZ, (oh my Zeus) IPN (I’m posting naked)
GTG; TTYL! YATB, IMHO.

Bridge:
IITYWTMWYKM? (if I tell you what this means, will you kiss me?)
Or maybe you’ll just tell me IIB (ignorance is bliss)
It’s hard to do a Twitter LDR (long-distance relationship)
And the TTF in this PDF is so damn hard to read

I went to go RT you in the morning,
But I found that you had linked to your FB
Where I saw you less than threeing with your IRL BF
Well, I think that I had really BBG

Chorus:
GBML, (goodbye my love) ICBI (I can’t believe it)
LUA (love you always), LGO (life goes on)
FML, (fuck my life) IHA (I hate acronyms)
L8R, TTFN, FOAD, GTFO.